Maroon cars. Please. Explain to me why anyone in the world would want to drive a maroon car. What do you think they say about you? When I see a maroon car, I think that the person driving it is a big old phony. The only reason a person buys a maroon car is because that person secretly wants a red car but is too embarrassed to buy one because they think it will draw too much attention to themselves. Because, really, that's what a maroon car is. A crappy and insecure second to a red car. Why do I say that? The person driving is not confident enough to be driving a red car, because when you drive a red car, let's face it, everyone notices you. See, what's going on in a loser-maroon-car drivers' head is this: if I drive a maroon car, I will have all of the fun of a red car without getting all of the attention of a red car.
To all those people out there, I have only one question.
If you don't want the attention, then why the hell do you want a red car? The mere purpose of driving a red car is to get noticed. You red-car drivers may throw out your excuses, but come on, it all boils down to the same thing: you are attention whores.
But, hey, I'm not criticizing you. My ultimate happiness in life will come from driving a red car. I like the attention; I'm not ashamed of that. It's the people out there who are too afraid of the attention that comes hand in hand with a red car that pisses me off because I'm a strong believer of doing what you want. So. Maroon-car drivers, please do what everyone know you secretly want to do- go drive a red car!
Maroon-car drivers, the question at had is this: WILL YOU JOIN THE RED CAR ARMY OF CHAMPIONS, OR WILL YOU STAY A LOSER SLACKER MAROON CAR DRIVER?
p.s. anybody get the office reference?
